You know, its funny how often I've been criticized for how life has formed my beliefs. I have too much passion for the unmotivated or misguided. I have too much emotion for the business-minded. I love too deeply for the wounded. I'm too reserved for the outspoken. My presence is too large for the introverted. I'm too alternative for structured. I’m trying too hard to be different for the one born to fit in. I think you get my point. As I’ve gone through life I have learned to adopt the following quote:

“Never waste your time trying to explain who you are to people who are committed to misunderstanding you.”

The fact is that every one of us has to adapt to our world to make it through it. We can take all kinds of classes about positive attitudes and how we manifest our environment through our thoughts, choices, and actions. We can drive ourselves crazy trying to re-frame everything to manifest a kinder life when every attempt to get there fails. The fact is that things flat out fail when they are not meant for you! How you are guided onto a new course and how well you accept it has everything to do with having a certain level of faithful awareness.

It’s my belief that God has a plan and that before our spirit came here we identified the best path for our life's mission. I mean ultimately, we are here for the experience of living. We are here to feel all the ups and downs physically, mentally, spiritually, and perhaps even karmically. But, I digress.

There are certain things that have to occur to get our attention or shift us out of our comfort zones and if you've had a big life to get to where you currently are then you are likely one of the chosen few to guide others on their path.

I have maneuvered through some unique challenges, just like you probably have. I have learned that all of our stories are equally meaningful. What would be a severe trauma to one person might be a breeze to another. Either way, the trauma response could be equally as jarring for each experiential journey that each soul takes through understanding, integrating, or healing. And the joys we all experience might either come from pure innocence or as a celebration the other side of an achievement or a challenge.

I have come to believe that those things that create the greatest challenges for us to overcome are the very things that we eventually become the center of expertise on. If you took the time to sit with the greatest challenges you have faced in your lifetime you will probably notice the reoccurrence of perceived hardships that might later become your life’s greatest gifts as you overcome them and gain strength. Overcoming obstacles… I’ve often thought this would be the title of my next book. But, to me this still brings the focus to that which is negative and I would seemingly be complaining about all the obstacles in my life.

As I’ve faced each obstacle in my life I have done everything within my power to review and navigate all angles in a conscious way. How I’ve navigated these obstacles has varied over the years, but when traditional methods were not getting me to solutions I went outside of the norm. I picked up knowledge from many unique sources. I studied Shamanism, yoga, reiki, vibrational healing, matrix and theta healing, and toyed with a variety of different religions and spiritual practices. The fact is that each time a new challenge presented itself it would take me deeper into some healing modality to find myself and my peace.

As I went deeper into each modality or practice I would find that I would have a harder time relating to those that some might say were still in the “matrix”. I began to separate from the mainstream reality. I would find that all relationships would suffer as a result, yet I was devoted to my path. My marriage crumbled, my engagement would end, and even my desire to live a healthy vegan lifestyle would separate me from many that chose an alternative lifestyle with a poor diet and a lack of desire to live consciously.

The separation one feels as an awakened human can be daunting. And when one goes into community there is an even greater challenge of trying to fit in to almost forced norms that seem to transcend all the wonderful things that make you a unique individual. There’s this whole concept of oneness that I believe seems to be misunderstood. It doesn’t mean be like everyone else. In fact, I often think it’s been misunderstood to mean we must conform to a universal way of being with each other rather than finding a connection to source or God energy and being one with the source that created us. It seems to remove ones ability to have have critical thought and do analysis when we strive to conform with others.

In fact, I was reading something the other day that pointed to this passage: Hosea 4:6 says:

“My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. Because you have rejected knowledge, I will also reject you, that you may be no priest to me.” (Hosea 4:6).

I don’t proclaim myself to be any religion but I do reference many spiritual texts and writings in a variety of traditions. I was reading a bit about this passage from the christian-faith.com website. The article says that ignorance will cost you dearly and that many people know certain truths in a superficial way, but don’t apply them because they lack the true heart knowledge of the truth. It goes on to say that a heartfelt, deep conviction to truth allows you to feel the truth. And it completes by saying that we believe we are safe when we live the way of our neighbors - conforming to the world in numbers and suggests we must break the cycle of ignorance. This is why I don’t like the idea of this oneness concept. We can be one with God or Jesus, but to be that with other humans might confuse many when the human falters. Oneness in community might be very deceiving and ultimately we should be going direct to source for guidance and answers.

Because I have come through many of these systems I have been judged by many not understanding that many of us break the sleepiness of falling victim to community think and do beat to our own drum within the community. I guess some of us just seems to have it programmed into our DNA that humans are prone to error and God gives us a lifeline to truth. We all get there how we get there, yet so many never do.

If you have found a way to converse with God you are going to have a light that others will seek. You will become a source of God energy for those that cannot find the source on their own. It can be draining on you if you are not aware that, should this occur, you must become the teacher to provide guidance rather than being a funnel to God for your “friend” inquiring through you.

The greatest criticisms I have received are when someone expects me to be like them and I am not. They will try to understand me but cannot. They will try to lump me into a basket and label me and it will become frustrating for them. My former romantic partners suggested it would be best to be like everyone else and eat like others do… in other words not choose to be vegan or non-alcoholic. And others who chose not to know me would proclaim I was trying to be different, not understanding that I was likely different than others they may have known that choose to live in the matrix. It would become my fault for my uniqueness to all those that didn’t truly wish to know me. As an awakened woman it would take me years to understand that this had nothing to do with me.

The way others perceive you is for them, not for you. Should you be attacked for being you, you simple have to note that whomever is attacking hasn’t journeyed to find self and the mirror of you might be threatening. When you can be neutrally minded in the face of anothers misunderstanding you know that you have elevated to a personal level of peace. This doesn’t mean you are better than, but simply have found self on a deep enough level not to be swayed by those living in ignorance. The best we can do is help them to remove the obstacles causing the disruption.

I began writing this post for the “about me” on my website but it quickly took on a new life as I began to realize the subject and title of my next book. I will continue to post here and eventually, as the passion grows within me I will share with you whether or not I have enough passion to manifest a meaningful book. I feel the energy coming through me once again… it’s been a few years since I wrote my last book.

Until then…wishing you a happy 2023!